I did it for you
by bluexisxcool
Summary: When Max can't take the flocks despair and the fact that they have to live with Eraser attacks day in and day out, she begins to think of ways to sacrifice herself for the good of the flock. Oneshot : Warning: this aint exactly happy.
1. I Did It For You

I watched in sadness as I helped Angel patch up a painful cut on her tiny arm. The Erasers had attacked again, and these new ones could actually fly well. They were tough to beat. We got away sure, but we were worn out. I looked from face to face of the flock. Each and every one of them had the same look on their face; sad, tired, a little angry, and frustrated. They were all wondering the same thing, 'Why?'

Why did the Erasers have to attack us? Why couldn't we just live in peace? Why us in the first place? Why… everything?  
I'm why. Well, mostly. The School wants the rest of the flock just as much, but I'm the reason they're all mutant bird kids. To 'help me' save the world. If I wasn't around them anymore, the Erasers would go after me instead. They wouldn't bother with the Flock because they just want _me_. They don't realize it, but I'm the cause of their sadness, their pain, and their suffering. Kick me out of the Flock and the rest of them are home free.

That's just it. If I wasn't around… I could leave the Flock. The Erasers would follow me, and leave the rest of them alone. But it would be too painful and hard on my own. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't be able to live on with my pain of being alone and the Erasers would capture me quickly. It would just be a wasted and depressing effort for everyone.

Angel left to go play with Total. The rest of the Flock was finishing up themselves while I hadn't even started on myself. Fang glance over to me and noticed this.

"Well? You just gonna sit there all day or does someone have to make sure you don't bleed to death?" He said and threw some First Aid stuff at me. I really wasn't that badly hurt though. None of us were, it was just tiring and annoying how every other day our lives were put in danger. Fang gave me a questioning look. Damn. I can block my thoughts from Angel, but somehow not from Fang. He knew _something _was up. I ignored him by pre-occupying myself with making sure my leg would stop bleeding and went back to my thoughts.

So… What if I killed myself? Then I wouldn't _have_ to live on my own. I wouldn't have to even try. I could fly up really far, and then just drop. It would be so easy really, and once I hit the bottom… would it hurt? I have no idea. Yes, it would hurt, but would I die first. I shook away the thought when I realized that the School still wouldn't have a mutant bird kid to test on. They would still continue going after the Flock and they would have to keep suffering and I wouldn't even be there to help. Killing myself would just make everything worse.

We all stacked our hands together and slept on the floor of the forest. After a short argument with Fang, I had first watch. Then Fang, then Iggy. The last thing he said to me as they were finding a soft peace of ground to sleep was something like, "What the hell is your problem Max?" Well, it wasn't spoken. More like growled so the others wouldn't hear. I just ignored him and went back to my thoughts after banking the fire down to a soft glow.

What if I made a deal with the School? What if I sacrificed myself? After all, I could let them do whatever it is they want to do with me, kill me, experiment, whatever, and in return they would leave my Flock alone. They would have no use for the Flock anyway… The School is smart enough to know that if we were to go to the public about them and us, we would have already. So they would have little reason to go after them.

It was the best idea of the three, and after further thought I couldn't think of another option. I was just so tired of watching my loved ones suffer. I couldn't take it anymore! Every other day we're ambushed, our lives are at stake. Every day we have to run, or fly, or get away somehow. We have trouble finding food, water, a place to sleep. They deserve better than that. They deserve better than me.

But do I really want to do this? Who will be in charge when I leave? Can I take the pain of the School for the sake of the Flock?

If it's for the Flock… I think I'll do anything. Even take the School. If I'm at all lucky, they will decide to run a few tests, and kill me. If they don't kill me, on purpose or accident, maybe they'll mess up so much that I live in ignorance. Maybe they'll do something so I don't feel pain. Kill all my nerves or something. I don't know… But these guys are sick; I wouldn't be surprised if that did happen. Probably not, but it was worth a shot hoping that they would mess up and I would die.

_Max, I forbid you to make a rash decision like this._ My voice suddenly chimed in. Convenient isn't it?

_Why hello voice. Good to see you. But I'm afraid you're wrong this time. You don't know feelings like love and suffering. You're probably imaginary anyway. And if you're not, guess what. I don't care. I don't care what you have to say, I don't care what you'll do. This is my decision, this is my life. So get lost._

After that, the voice shut up So I went back to my train of thought.

But my biggest question; who would be in charge? Would Fang even bother to stay? And if he didn't, could Iggy really be in good charge? I mean, he's capable and mature at times, but face it. He's blind. And maybe it's just because he doesn't have to be mature, but he can be real childish at times. Still, I would like to know if my leaving would split up the Flock.

I got up and tip-toed over to Fang. I gently nudged his shoulder with my shoe, and motioned him to follow me. We walked a little bit away from the rest, and sat down. We could barely see each other, but I bet he was giving me the most annoyed look ever.

"Something's been bothering me." I finally said. Fang said nothing. "I need to know something. Answer me straightly, no lies, and I'll let you sleep."  
"Okay. What." He said, ready to get what little sleep we could.  
"If something happened to me…" I chose my words carefully. "If I was gone. Like, in a fight and I died-"  
"You shouldn't talk like that Max." Fang interrupted sounding annoyed at my melodramatic attitude lately.  
"Well to bad. I am." I continued and silently wished he wasn't so stubborn. "Would you stick around if I was gone… For the sake of the Flock?"  
There was silence from Fang, which couldn't be taken as a good sign. But then again, this is Fang we're talking about, and he's silent most of the time anyway.  
"Max this is stupid. We both know your way to stubborn to let anyone kill you." Fang said and stood up to walk away. But before leaving, he added, "But if it makes you_ feel_ any better. I wouldn't leave the Flock."

So I was alone again with my thoughts. I stayed still until I heard Fang fall asleep with everyone else, then silently searched for something to write a note on. We don't have much in the way of writing things. The closest thing would be Fang's laptop, but I didn't want to use that because then the Flock couldn't be sure it was really me. I managed to find the back of a large receipt from a fast food place and a pen that had just enough ink.

I sat back down on the tree and leaned my back against it. I thought about whether I really wanted to do this… I love my Flock. But am I willing to sacrifice myself so much for them? It didn't take long for me to make my decision. Of course I would. I love them, and I'm almost ashamed of myself for not thinking of this sooner. I put the receipt on the back of Fang's laptop for a hard surface, and began to write.

To my Flock,

You deserve better than this. You shouldn't have to live with Eraser attacks and living on the cold hard ground every night. You should be able to sleep in a bed, or at least indoors.

The School wants a mutant bird kid to experiment on. That's all they really want. One who will do anything for them. Once they get one, they'll stop chasing all of us. All of you I mean. The School is twisted and evil, but if I give them what they want, they'll give me what I want. They'll be the ultimate winners in their eyes. They get the oldest Flock member, the leader, the whatever. But in my eyes, I win. Because you won't have to suffer the fights and the hard crap that we all go through.

So, I've left to make a deal with them. Fang promised me he would take care of you. If he doesn't, I give you permission to harass him until he does. You guys will be fine. You're all strong and capable. You will get along perfect without me, in fact, without Erasers harassing you; you might just get along better without me.

We could all try and take out the School and the Erasers, but it's getting to hard. We can't do it. Face it. It's time to grow up and drop the dreams of 'saving the world' for the sake of our lives. The School is too powerful and big. The Erasers are getting to tough to beat. So, I let them take me and do whatever it is they want, and they don't bother you. It's a win-win situation. Kinda.

I love you all. I'll sacrifice anything for your guys' happiness. You probably will never forgive me for doing this, but I have to. As I've said before, you'll be fine without me.

Fang, you're officially in charge. From now on you do what's best for the Flock. I'll help you out on your first big decision to make: Don't follow me. For the good of you and the rest.  
Please.

Love,  
Maximum Ride.

Remember, I did it for you.

* * *

**Disclaimer - I still don't own Maximum Ride...**

**I'd like to point out that a song inspired me to write this. I thought about making it into a song fic, but realized that unless someone knows the song, I don't think very many people read song fics. So I took the song out. The song it called Frozen by Within Temptation. They are utterly awesome for writing stories to...**

**Review and tell me what you think. There isn't much dialog... mostly Max's thoughts. But whatever. It was written late at night anyway. Hope it doesn't suck to bad. :)**


	2. Sequal!

I woke up, again, to Max whispering in my ear that it was my watch. This time we weren't going to have a stupid 'talk.' I got up and went to a tree to lean on. Then I pulled out my laptop and blogged a little. The usual stuff. Eventually, it was Iggy's turn and I went back to sleep in my spot away from the others. I didn't see Max after she told me it was my watch, but I assumed she was sleeping behind something. I'm barley younger than her but I've found that I respect her. A lot. If I was leader with all these Eraser attacks, I'd snap under the pressure and… I don't know. Something bad, that's for sure. But not Max. Max is strong, and we couldn't go on by ourselves without her advice and knowledge.

When Iggy heard birds start to sing, he woke the rest of us up. Really all he did was yell "Everyone up!" and that's it…

"Can someone get out the breakfast stuff for me?" Iggy asked while getting the fire ready again. Since I was the closest to the bag, I grabbed it. I reached and I pulled what little we had left, a bunch of hotdogs. Yay, hotdogs again. But that's not what I was curious about. Taped of the hotdog package was a folded up note. My first thought was actually, 'we have tape?' but I quickly shook it out of my head and opened the note. I practically felt my own face whiten and I was suddenly very scared.

"Where's Max?" Angel asked at the same moment I looked up to look for her. I didn't respond. I read the note quickly at first, suddenly realizing why she had brought up her being absent last night. She left. Max, the one I thought was so strong, left us. Left to turn herself into the School. I felt the entire Flock's eyes on me. They saw the note I had, they knew I knew where Max was.

"She's…" I simply couldn't speak. Normally I choose not to, now I couldn't even if I wanted to. I handed the note to Nudge, and she read it out loud, tears falling out of her eyes.

"We have to go after her!" Iggy said, standing up and ready to go. Gazzy was the first to stand up with him, then the rest of the Flock.

"No point. She's gone. She left last night before her watch was even over." I said, and refused to stand up with them. I refused to even look at their teary faces. None of us could stand to loose her.

"But we can catch her! We can tell her we _need _her!" Nudge said, and everyone nodded in agreement.

"No. Point. There's no way we can catch her with her speed." I pointed out how fast she can go, and they realized that I was right. We can't catch her.

"She's to fast with her power, and even if she does get tired she to stubborn to stop and rest." I added, and one by one the flock sat back down, to exhausted and sad to do anything else but cry.

We're six kids. Kids with no family but each other. Kids with no home, not enough food, nothing to really distract us from things like death. Or our most cared about person leaving us. Max was a mom to the younger kids, and a sister - more like a best friend to me. Probably to Iggy too. She was our leader. She was the one who told us what to do for our own good. She made sure we had food, water, a safe place to sleep, when to fly, when not to fly, where to go. She made almost all of our decisions. She protected us. She loved us, and we loved her.

Now she's gone. And we can't get her back unless we ambush the School. But chances are, they've already made a deal with her, put her in a helicopter and are taking her to the main building where the security is far to advanced for us. Especially now that they have Max, they'll be expecting us to come. They'll be waiting for us. If we go after Max, we're all dead no matter what. Dead, or put into the School with her.

Part of me really wanted to go after her anyway. Knowing the consequences, but still seeing her face one last time…

I closed my eyes, put my head on my knees and tried my hardest not to listen to the Flock. No use. Their crying and asking each other why she had to go, just got through to me. I couldn't help it… This is by far the worst thing that has ever happened to us, loosing Max. Not even 'big, strong, emotionless' me bothered to keep from crying a tear or two. I just wish I could have changed her mind. I wish she had talked to me about this before leaving

I gave the Flock a lot of leisure time. We didn't set off to go anywhere for a long time. We were headed someplace special for Max. We were headed _home._ Sure the house had been blown up, but we wanted to go there anyway. Just for the heck of it. We were a long way away, so we only got about half way there before we had to stop for the night and eat something. It was weird all day. _I _was in charge. I have so much more to think about now… All day I tried to think about Max's reasoning for the things she did. To try and be more like her to lead the Flock. For their sake anyway. It hurt to think about her though. I wanted so badly to just… go crazy. Or to at least try not to think about her. But to be leader, to make the right decisions, you have to sacrifice yourself all the time. Usually not as bad as full out letting the School take you, but little things like thinking of someone you love who is now gone.

During our flight barely a word was said. Even Nudge was quiet. All she said all day was things like "I'm hungry." Or "I'm tired." Or some other important issue. Which is when I would nod and lead them down to rest or grab a bite to eat somewhere. Usually we just did a little dumpster diving. At dinner though we actually went into a fast food restaurant. Then we flew about 10 minutes until I found an area for us to sleep in.

By the time we finally got to where the house used to be, it was almost unrecognizable. There was a little bit of the house still around, bits and pieces here, but other than that it had grass growing all over. There were still no trees where our house stood, but there were some flowers and weeds growing there as well as grass. We were all quiet as we thought individual thoughts. Nudge was the only one to speak.

"It looks so different…" She said. No one really answered her though, no one really wanted her to speak. She was trying to do the right thing though, and trying to lighten the mood. But we just didn't want to have our 'mood lightened'

We ate the last of our food and laid down to rest. Before we all went to sleep, Angel came over and sat down next to me. She wrapped her small arms around my neck and hugged tightly. I wanted to be alone, but hugged back anyway. She was after all, so young.

"Why did we come here again Fang?" She asked me. I just shrugged in response. I thought it would be nice to see where our old house was. She got off me and leaned her back on me and sat in silence.

"Are we going to live here from now on? Now that the Erasers won't be after us…" She tried to ask again, but started to cry a little at the thought of what Max did for us.

"I don't know Angel. I'm still trying to figure this stuff out." I said and petted her hair a little. With that she sniffed and laid down near me to sleep. It had been a long few days since Max left.

The truth is, I'm not good at this leading stuff. I'm no good at talking to people or making hard decisions, or making the younger ones feel safe. I suck at all the things Max was good at. And I want so badly to just… I don't know. Make the pain go away. But I can't. I have to live with the pain as Max did for the Flock. I can't let myself go crazy and ignore the pain, I can't kill myself or hurt myself to numb the pain, I can't do anything about it but try and get over it.

But I'll never get over it. I'll never get over what Max did for us. She's by far the bravest and strongest person I know, no matter what she thinks about herself. I would never be able to give myself over like that for anyone. I'll never be as perfect as her, none of us will. Because Max _is_ saving the world. One Flock at a time.

* * *

**Hmm. To be honest, I think it's okay. Not my best peice of work.. But whatever. It's posted now.**

**So now, it's up to YOU. Should I continue the story and have the Flock decide to go after her or not? Keep in mind that there are two sides to this story. It's sad because Max is gone. Happy because the rest don't have to deal with attacks. Getting Max back will make everyone happy, but still horribly sad from the attacks again. (and if I continue it, it might be in vain because I tend to kill people in stories)**

**So, go to my profile and vote in the poll there. I'm to lazy to keep tally the regular way.**

**But, review anyway. I do like reviews. And thanks for reading, even though I only really like the last two paragraphs. .**


End file.
